I've said it before and I'll say it again–this season of life is crazy, y'all. This semester I have seen so much of the Lord's faithfulness, but I have also struggled more than ever before. Maybe it's part of "growing up", or maybe it's just how God is working in my life right now. I'm not really sure. In fact, I'm not really sure about anything at the moment, as uncertainty seems to be the theme of life lately.

Back to School: 5 Things to Remember

Summer is over and that means back to school for anyone not yet in the working world. Starting this semester is weird for me because tomorrow will be my last first day of school EVER. Like what? Crazy.

Anyway, I am all settled in my "home away from home", and have spent the weekend relaxing and filling up my soul before the craziness of school starts. Outside of watching Hallmark movies and way too many episodes of Sister, Sister, I have been listening to podcasts and spending time in the Word. I didn't intend to write a blog post for back-to-school encouragement, but the Lord has reminded me of a few things that I thought should be shared with y'all.

Mid-Year Recap: The Good & The Lessons

If I'm being honest, the past few months have been weird. I started 2017 off in a totally unexpected way, but determined to make it the best year yet. Realizing that we're halfway through the year, I wanted to reflect on everything that's happened so far–the good and the lessons (because I think we can learn a thing or two from the not-so-good things in life).

Christ is Enough

A lot of times it feels like we just aren't enough. Pretty enough, smart enough, outgoing enough, capable enough. I could go on forever. I totally get it because I felt that way for a long time, too. Trying to keep up with everything and everyone, and feeling like you will never catch up. 

But recently I have realized that I actually am not enough... on my own, that is. My own strength fails. At times I lack the energy to accomplish something, and I'm really just not capable. The funny thing is, that is OKAY. That is more than okay because we aren't supposed to be enough on our own. If we were sufficient in all things, we would not have a need for a Savior. And that would not fit God's plan for His people. 

So instead of trying (and failing miserably) to be enough on my own, I've decided to let Christ be enough instead. The first time I heard the song "Christ is Enough" by Hillsong, it all made sense. 

Christ is enough for me

Christ is enough for me

Everything I need is in You

Everything I need

Everything. Literally every single thing I could ever need is found in Christ. Every bit of energy or focus that I don't have, He provides. My shortcomings are nothing compared to the One who has overcome the entire world. 1 John 5:4 says, "For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world–our faith." 

Yes, we are enough, but only by the grace of God, not by our own abilities. I don't know about you, but I take so much comfort in knowing my Savior makes me enough!

One, Two Step...ping Out in Faith

First off, yes, I am laughing at the title of this post just as much as you are. I'm a sucker for a cheesy blog title. Second, things are about to get real (and not just because of my Ciara reference). 

In the past month, God has been teaching me about the wilderness. Not the easy part of the wilderness, though. You know, the one where you road trip across the country with your BFF seeing all of the nation's most scenic landscapes (although I would definitely love for Him to show me that kind of wilderness one day). Nope. Right now, God has me out in the middle of the desert without a map. My tank is out of fuel, there's no cell signal, and I'm literally stranded.

Okay now let me stop there. You're probably thinking one of two things: "but Sarah, your life seems great on social media," or "but you always seem so happy!". Yes and yes. My life seems great and I pretty much always seem happy. But we all know things aren't always as they seem, right? Right. So let's keep going.

Here I am in the middle of the wilderness, asking God what on earth He's trying to teach me. Well, He is teaching me a lot. The big idea, however, is that I cannot do this life without Him. Anything I do outside of trusting Him is going to disappointment me eventually. Why? Because everything and everyone else is human, and putting my hope in another human just does not work. I have learned the hard way time and time again that people will let me down. People will hurt me. People are not the perfect humans I build them up to be. All of that being said, I know that people don't intentionally do those things. They just happen...because they're human.

My point is that people have disappointed me, and I should be putting my hope in Jesus instead of in a family member, friend, or significant other. And do you know what God told me, just now as I was writing this? Jeremiah 17:5-6. God literally wrote it out in Scripture for me (He knows I like to argue and debate whether or not something applies to me, but there's no arguing this one):

This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,
    who rely on human strength
    and turn their hearts away from the Lord.
6 They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,
    with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salty land.

OKAY GOD. I get it. Mere humans. Desert. Wilderness. All the words I have used to describe the way my life has been going the past month, right there in front of me. Ouch–reality is tough.

But through this dusty, dry wilderness, God is providing. He is providing His strength where I am weak, His peace where I am afraid, and His grace where I am broken. He provides for me (and you!) just like He provided for His people as they traveled from Egypt to the Promised Land. We're all basically strolling through life, maybe one desert after the next, trying to reach our Promised Land. Though it may be challenging, know that the Lord is using your wilderness to grow you, protect you, and make you more dependent on Him. I see Him doing that in my life every single day.

Oh, let's not forget what I said about social media and being happy all the time. I don't like admitting this, in fact I don't even want to admit it, but God is calling me to be vulnerable and real, so that's what I'm going to do. The reality is that I've become pretty good at hiding the messy parts of my life on social media and in "real" life. My Instagram shows a self-confident, creative, adventurous, God-honoring college student. My "real" life shows a happy, friendly, always-laughing, Jesus-praising twenty-year-old. But even my "real" life does not depict me in my true light. Yes, I am creative and I love adventures and God and laughing, but it's basically a goal of mine to cover up any part of my mess that I don't want everyone to find out about. The mess of how much I lack self-confidence, how I'm extremely shy, how anxiety kind of consumed me this past semester, how I put all my hope in a relationship that failed me.

Yep. That is why I'm in the wilderness. God is pointing out all my flaws and limitations and failures, not to condemn me, but to grow me. He is reminding me of my own human-ness (is that a word?). Thankfully, though, God is showing me that although my limitations are many, He has none! And He will not fail me because He is God, and He is good. 

That's why I'm stepping out in faith, doing a crazy thing like rambling about my messy little life. I would most definitely not be doing this if I was acting out of my own strength or ability. This is totally a God thing. It's pretty cool, but honestly it's mostly terrifying–the whole "be obedient to God in whatever He asks you to do" thing. Yeah. That's where I'm at right now. But I wouldn't trade this wilderness for the whole world, because God is doing a mighty work! And who am I to stand in His way?

Psalm 46:5

A Word or Two

Resolutions. Words. Goals. New year. New everything.

At least that's what culture tells us. But rather than wanting brand new everything, or trying to fit in with the "new year, new me" crowd, I think this new year I will strive to build on what I already have. While I love the idea of a fresh start and new beginnings, I don't necessarily want to leave behind everything that happened in 2016. Like every year, it had its challenges, but I believe the Lord grew me in ways I've never experienced before. And that is something I would never want to toss out just because it's a new year.

So instead of starting completely over, or making a mile-long list of resolutions, the Lord put it on my heart to choose a handful of words that sum up my hopes for 2017. These words are words that stood out to me when reading the Word, or reading Christian books. These words represent my hope for the Lord to push and grow me in ways I can't even imagine. 

The first word that came to mind was fearless. It is a trait that I admire so much in others. You know, those people who don't think twice about pursuing their dreams, who don't doubt that God is working it out, and who seem to live the most carefree, adventurous lives. That's what I long for. Maybe 2017 won't be the year that I become totally fearless, but I hope to be able to fear less.

Awe. This word popped in my head as I was reading scripture yesterday. I want to be in awe of the Lord every single day. Out of curiosity, I googled the definition of the word. This is what I found: a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder. I just love that. Those words are so rich–reverential respect, fear, wonder. I especially like the wonder part. Remember when you were little, and it took next to nothing to fill you with wonder? That's how I want to live my 2017. I want every day to be a wondrous, magical journey of being pursued by my heavenly Father. I want to live in awe.

Finally, I want to live in the present. More specifically, I want to choose Present Over Perfect. If you haven't read that book yet, head straight to the nearest bookstore and buy it! It opened my eyes to so many habits that I didn't even realize I had created for myself. I discovered that my behavior typically originates out of striving for perfection. But that isn't how I want to live my life–so caught up in the details and expectations and to-do lists. In 2017, I want to slow down and experience the present, without the weight of perfection on my shoulders.

So, what are your words for the New Year? Whatever they may be, I pray we will all experience God's radical love in the mundane of everyday life.